Growing up, we never worried about what others would think when we strolled with friends, hands on each other’s shoulders. Leg pulling, foul language, passing cigarettes, sharing drinks, dreaming together, knowledge give and take (“funda exchange”), class notes sharing, and numerous such day-to-day activities were standard practices.
After graduating from college, the rat race started, and career and family interests took over. Old memories were pushed to the side. When my kids mingled with their friends carefree as just friends, not acquaintances, and not business partners, I felt a constant envy. These kids hang out regularly, stopping by each other’s houses, watching movies, eating together, and playing together.
I sighed. Why can’t I mingle with my friends the same way? It is difficult to recreate expectation-free friendships with new contacts. Getting past the “what is in it for me” and status comparison is a constant challenge. Corporate culture is inherently at fault. Conversations about promotions, salaries, cars, houses, kids’ education, and career growth, while providing a sense of pride, tend to alienate friends and adulterate relationships.
So, I started my quest to reach out to old friends with whom I interacted the same way my kids interact with theirs. I called on my friends from college to get together for a reunion in Phuket. I like to watch Indian movies with my wife. This trip was an enactment of the movie “Jindagi Na Milegi Dobara”. All of us graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur. So we remembered incidents that had played out in films such as “Three Idiots” and “Chhichhore” from our college days. We named our group “Four Idiots”.
Now these guys run large companies, large teams, and whatever else they do for a living. But who cares, at least why ask, why bother? I don’t need or want favors. I want to hug them, walk with them, and touch their shoulder. Chat late in the night. Sing karaoke, play, run, hike, swim, dive, snorkel, and do so many things that I have not been able to do since college with them. It doesn’t seem very easy for a 52-year-old to feel young again. But that is what we did. Time just flew by.
We were deliberately blind to our professional leadership roles and took on mundane tasks for each other. One took on the role of a cook and prepared beverages for others, while the other became a photographer and a drill sergeant, pushing others to be on time and ordering everyone to do this and that… We talked about our children, receding hairlines, eye bags…
One of our batchmates died at a young age of 49 from a heart ailment. So, the awareness of our short lives sat heavy on our minds, and we did not know if this would be our last group visit.
I saw this group after 35+ long years. But as soon as I met them at the airport/villa, the gap of so many years melted away, and I was teleported as if inside a time machine to my 18-year-old self. We talked and talked and forgot that we had wives and kids since we felt like kids during the reunion. Whatever little mischief we did in Phuket stayed in Phuket. That was our secret and something to remember for years to come.
If you have read this post this far, live your life. Money, status, and everything materialistic can wait. Rewind, unwind, and feel young… it will inadvertently help you energize yourself to pursue your successive materialistic wins.
A toast to old friends!